So, I met this guy on a dating website and on face value, he is attractive, educated and seemed to be looking for a serious relationship. Initially, I thought he was a nice guy with serious intentions. Therefore, we went on a few dates. Pretty soon after, he stated he had to leave the state due to a “work project” and head to Florida. In the time he went away, we maintained communication via texting and facetime. He then invited me to see him and I obliged because I thought he was looking for a serious relationship. (Dumb on my part, I can admit.) He mentioned marriage and kids in his future multiple times. Also, when he courted me he was a gentleman. And mentioned how he isn’t into playing games and “I try to treat people the way I want to be treated.”
Prior to me going to Florida, I expected that intimacy was going to occur and told him to bring condoms, as we knew each other for nearly 2 months at that point. But on the first encounter, while he had condoms he did not use them. I even asked him if he had it, and he said, “I have the condom in my hand.” I thought he was in the process of putting it on but he didn’t. Of course, this freaked me out because I didn’t want to risk pregnancy or STD’s.
However, he lost his erection soon so I felt that the likelihood of pregnancy or STD was low. On the second sexual encounter, he did not use a condom again. It was early in the morning and I was not completely alert, and he pretty much started having sex with me, with no foreplay. I guess this was another red flag. Again, he had condoms on him. When I asked him questions about his sexual history prior, he mentioned he didn’t have unprotected sex unless he has been in a relationship for 6 months. Yet he knows me for 2 months and had unprotected sex with me twice, despite me requesting condom usage. I recently did testing for STD’S and currently awaiting results. I even informed him that I am concerned I might get pregnant and would get Plan B, and he was non-chalant and said, “If you get pregnant, fuck it.” I inquired on the context and he exemplified that he meant abortion. Another red flag, for someone to claim to be religious, wouldn’t that go against his morals? And him being non-chalant was troubling. He did affirm he didn’t “come” in me though.
Nonetheless, in the few days I spent with him in Florida, we seemed to vibe together. He actually implied twice that I move in with him. Stating how it would be fun if we lived together and how if I lived with him in the area, he wouldn’t be bored. Even before I visited him in Florida, he asked us to be exclusive by the 3rd date which I felt was too soon. Especially since I was dating other guys. Later on, when I asked him to clarify his position on “exclusivity” he basically admitted he only said that so I can see him in Florida and wanted to wait more before being exclusive. This was a red flag that he is clearly manipulative. In fact, when I first asked about being exclusive, he replied, “Why you ask, is it so you can bang other guys before I come back?” I was immediately offended and he said he was joking and apologized. He even mentioned when he was leaving airport, other women referred to him as “baby.” A tactic to try to make me jealous or game playing.
On my last night in Florida with him, he invited me to come to Nigeria with him to see his family. He was supposed to visit them the next week. I declined stating I had work to attend. Which was partly true, but also I felt it’s way too soon to be taking an international trip together. He replied, “Is that your excuse?” Anyway, he dropped me off the airport stating he misses me. But I noticed after I came back home, while he responded to my communications, he wasn’t as engaged. We were, or so I thought, suppose to see each other, as he was apparently coming in the area before heading to Nigeria. But I had work so I said how about the next day and he said he doesn’t think so because he has to leave to Nigeria same day. I texted him, “I wanna see you lol.” He never responded, only clicked thumbs up on the comment. That was the last I heard of him. When I checked his social media, I didn’t see anything about Nigeria. Mind you, he posted pics of his last trip in Nigeria. And he actually updated his location to Orlando, Florida, so clearly he ghosted me. In fact, I found out he created an updated profile on the dating site where we met. He states how he is new to the area and how Kevin heart is coming to the area soon. Funny enough, when we were 1st dating, his dating profile said he is new to the Boston area. Him mentioning Kevin Heart coming into town soon indicates to me he didn’t even leave to Nigeria, but used it as a ruse to ghost me. If you are leaving to Nigeria, why mention a show you won’t be able to attend? I am sharing my story because women should be aware of him, it seems he moves around state to state (he is in the Army), creating dating profiles seeking a “serious relationship”, with no intentions of trying to be in a serious relationship. He originally came from Chicago, to Boston and now resides in Orlando within a short time span. Also, he stated his move to Florida is temporary for a project but later on, he conveniently tells me he has a job offer to move there. Looking back at it now, this was clearly a lie so I could get involved with him. If I knew he was moving to Florida, I would have never entertained him. He “love bombs” to expedite the relationship process to get what he wants. Also, the unwillingness to not use condoms for someone he is newly dating is scary. He is a self proclaimed good guy when he really is a F-boi in disguise. Also, he has erection problems as he barely he could keep it up.